Feb finished, 4 losing/BE months from 11

Well I've easily had the most losing months in a one year period of all time there's no doubt about that. This month has been fucking awful, so just a normal month really. Without hardly noticing, I've actually made $2.7k in 180's at 40% ROI and $8.90/game. However I've lost $2.7k in 18's at 100% below ev in the $60-100s, and lost $2.3k in MTT's. +$500 from HU to 9man, mostly hyper. Depressed and just bored of the cunt game of rig. Not interested. bye

2 week review

COMPLETE SHIT. bye

smashed my hand up

I just couldn't hold it in. Yet another cunting day in my life of a trillion 80-20 losses in a row and I just snapped. I've lost it once or twice b4 smashing the keyboard but this time I just didn't stop smashing til my hand felt broken. Amazingly keyboard is STILL 100%.

$1200 spunked in about 2 hrs, just outrageous horrific beat after another, you know the rest. $3 grand down in 18's now with 3 cashes in 85. It's just one longgggggggg life of utter hell.

The long haul

I come here to write this post in a neutral kind of mood. What I mean is, most of the time when I post on here I'm raging immediately after a terrible session (a session then). But this is more of a stable, calm, thoughts collected post.

This living is no fun. I've just been sitting here drinking beer thinking how depressed I feel, and how often this depression is around. It's MOST of the time. It's been 12 solid months of run bad in the $30 18's now, I'm break even in the last 1600, and 5% over 3k games which covers the past 12 months. Whilst I'm fairly confident even Stu Ungar can break even for that long (paaaah get real!) and that a 3k sample is like just 2 weeks for some grinders, it's still 12 months. My evbb/100 over those 12 months is 40% below actual bb/100.

So I'm sitting here thinking about the bigger picture and I think back on 2012 how many days I felt happy from poker. There was a few nice MTT days. I can recall about 4 days total I felt happy after poker. Now obviously that is a bad memory and I had plenty of decent smaller sessions through the year to be totalling a $50k year. But even then, I estimate no more than 10-14 days absolute top whack, throughout the year did I feel happpy. This job is a massive depressant for me, I guess I can't switch off run bad bullshit as easy as others' do. Most grinders, particularly the hyper 6max boys, I should imagine are total robots to be relentlessly grinding the way they do. I wish I could prgram my brain to be equally as indifferent towards it, but having quite a big ego, being a Leo this is unavoidable, each set back is as painful as the very first was. "Why are you even in this game then?" everyone always asks. Well I'm not going to be doing anything else that's for sure, so I take the freedom in exchange for the hell.

I dunno if I'm ever going to be able to tune my brain to switch off immediately after poker, to just ignore the relentless beats like so many other grinders do, but if I'm to not drive myself to an early grave with it I really must find a way. Listen to me, it's pathetic, think of the Africans and I'm complaining about this? Well you don't choose your thought processes and serotonin levels, you're given them, end of story. What I do know is give me someone else's account and I'd be alot happier. Hmm I'll take pessagno's tyvm. I've railed him many times and used be a rival of his in the $16 9mans back in the day. Let me tell you it's no exeggeration to say, I honestly don't recall a single lost hand I watched of his.
gn

12 of 14 months well below EV

I have it officially in my HEM figures, and probably more so but I'm calling it the past 14 months since I played differently. Every month barring 2 (can't remember which ones) has been at least 30% below EV and in most cases way more than that.

Jan results

Hi

roll up roll up

Get your hh reviews here and learn to be the best. Any SnG format at all (except fifty50) and turbo MTT.


* $0-$15 level= $150 initiation fee and one hh. $50/hh thereafter.

* $30 level= $200 initiation fee and one hh. $100/hh thereafter.

* $60+ level= bout tree fiddy initiation fee and one hh. $200/hh thereafter.


Yes that's PER HAND HISTORY not per hour.


Initial hh's will take much longer than all the rest because specific concepts need to be explained.

100 bis in 16 hrs

........

It goes without saying that since the bink I've run god awful to the tune of over 100% below EV, I mean there's simply no way on earth the graph is going to continue upwards after a decent score of any kind. It's probably already encrypted into the RNG that I must now suffer for the next 12 months. A solid $2k down in 10hrs since picking up the mouse again.

It's a joke how often it gets to bubble in a 100/18 really fast then just doubles each shorter guy who's all in over and over and over. Then there's a 3-4 way all in cause every cunt's got half a fkn BB left and it flops in big stacks favour, turns middle stacks nuts, rivers shorties nuts. An unbelieeeeeeeeeeeeeeevable amount of times this pure shit happens, an example thus:

PokerStars No-Limit Hold'em, 100 Tournament, 600/1200 Blinds 75 Ante (4 handed)

Hero (SB) (t6386)
BB (t16878)
UTG (t2958)
Button (t778)
Hero's M: 3.04

Preflop: Hero is SB with A, 2

UTG bets t2883 (All-In), Button calls t703 (All-In), 1 fold, BB calls t1683


Button has 7, 7

BB has 8, 9

UTG has A, Q

Flop: (t7369) 9, 4, 5 (3 players, 2 all-in)


yayyy CL winning

Turn: (t7369) A (3 players, 2 all-in)


ok well that'll do, still an elimination

River: (t7369) 7 (3 players, 2 all-in)




Total pot: t7369

Results:


Outcome: Button won t3009, UTG won t4360


^ Thats shit is like 50x a day, just pure batshit insanity.


You know what? I would trade just RUNNING TO EXPECTATION in SnG's over any random once every 6 months MTT bink every time.

The only decent thing I have to report on SnG's is that I've started adding 45's again since I saw $30's running like cray the other night, so hoping they'll stay running like cray but think it's gonna be short lived tbh. It's weird how an influx of fish come along for 5 minutes then fuck off again. Well of the 45's I've played I'm up $700 odd and went str8 to 2nd on a leaderboard for my first ss Gold star ever on Stars lol. A decade of play and it took literally 3hrs of 45's to get Gold. BATSHIT INSANE.

won Hot $55 and hey buy a piece and get loaded

Here is link to my TCOOP package, buy some.


http://www.pokerstrategy.com/forum/thread.php?threadid=227367

Cannot get links to work in here so copy n paste required, someone tell me htf u get links to work? Entering URL into the extremely obvious LINK tab does not work at all.

already resigned to being a continued loser

4 hours and 57 games into today and I'm frankly ready for the morgue. Just so beyond sick it's...sick. Have started off ok in the 18's making $2k in less than 100 games, but as for everything else, pure diarrhea. Every single 180 FT bubble (or if I'm lucky to have made it to an actual FT) has ended in mass coolerdom. Every single bvb situation I'm just damn terrified to shove, bb is sitting on top 10% hand roughly 300% of the time, it's fucking impossible. I don't shove anymore, my shoves never ever ever get through, there is never worse than 10% waiting for ALLLLLLLLLL shoves in any spot at all. That's not how poker life used to be. You would shove, you would get folds, it would be like....well, not sure if you could imagine this...but it would ALMOST be like....REAL CARDS?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?! Yh I know, as if right??!?! Yh AS THE FUCK IF! Now we're on 100% manufactured organised pure RNG rig and there's no getting away from it ever by the looks of things.

Whilst messing about with the old bb/100s, I noticed these figures for everything above 18m, so that's 180's and MTT's since November. 3000 AIPF hands 150% below EV. LOL 150%!!!





12 rock solid months of runhell now, the ENTIRE of 2012 was impossible never ever run decent hell, and 2013 is a carbon fucking copy in the first 4 days. REALLY WANT TO KILL

goodbye 2012 hell, hello 2013 hell

Here is last year's graph all told.



It's probably a bit more than actuality as I doubt 30% rb is accurate but whatever.

This year started out ok yesterday but today brought it all right back down to earth again making the year for now at 200% below EV for AIPF's.

I've bubbled two $100/18's, one of which I should've been huge CL in 6 handed when AKs <<<<<< A5o that some retard shoved for a lovely -2% edge on his part. The other was an unusual situation where I had 5bbs 6 handed but two fish also had 2 and 3bb each making ICM absolute hell for me. Needless to say I was bubblecunt, I mean boy. To sum up 2013 so far here is a lovely hand just took place whilst on my last 2 tables, looking for a $3r 180 win to salvage at least HALF the day's losses.


PokerStars No-Limit Hold'em, 3.5 Tournament, 3000/6000 Blinds 600 Ante (9 handed)

Button (t43008)
SB (t62440)
BB (t148007)
UTG (t178891)
UTG+1 (t59749
Hero (MP1) (t82076)
MP2 (t104913)
MP3 (t73676)
CO (t108240)
Hero's M: 5.70

Preflop: Hero is MP1 with K, K

1 fold, UTG+1 bets t59149 (All-In), Hero raises to t81476 (All-In), 5 folds, BB calls t75476

Flop: (t230501) J, 5, 5 (3 players, 2 all-in)

Turn: (t230501) Q (3 players, 2 all-in)

River: (t230501) 8 (3 players, 2 all-in)

Total pot: t230501

Results:

BB had J, J (full house, Jacks over fives).

UTG+1 had K, J (two pair, Jacks and fives).

Hero had K, K (two pair, Kings and fives).

Outcome: BB won t230501


And finally I just finished 43rd in the Hot $75 for a massive $200 with $12k up top having been card the fuck dead the past half hour since getting to almost CL.