Wednesday, April 17, 2013


Doesn't feel like 2 weeks since the last post. Well it's half way through the month or thereabouts so it's a good a time to post as any. I've made a few quid but it's still been really frustrating. Mostly because I've had a TON of 5th, 4th, 3rds in 180's that I should have gone at LEAST one place better in which would probably see me on at least $1k extra. 1, 2, 3, 3, 3, 4, 5 position from 112 180's. Let's take a look at some hands.

This one was an FT bubble hand, and you can see who the regs are. I can't be sure if he's calling a shove there so if he was then ok fine (even though his call would be terrible vs my range) but if he wasn't planning that and was just flatting to see a flop then LOOOOL. I'm finding there are more and more regs doing his now and you know I'm pretty sure it's down to a thread some SUPPOSED HS MTT reg made some time ago now, about how you actually have odds to flat in the BB with no matter what size stack left. The thread is bollox and I don't care what math he wants to use it's massively -ev and no douchebag BB flatter will EVER profit v my ranges...EVARRR!!!!!!!

That was a $35 and I STONE FT bubble the next TWO $35 180's too. One was losing A9 to bfizz's KJo. Next was a 3rd in a $60 180 where I had to call a std bvb jam with Qto from a reg shoving atc without a doubt, obv he hwas AQo cuz well, toorealtoorealtoorealtooreal etc.

I then lose this $15 HU having been 5 to 1 up.

This was the worst of them all. Going out 3rd in a $35. The reg in question is a complete tragedy, like all regs. I believe she's female too.

Next was this beauty, crucial spot there which would got me a pretty dead cert >4th.

Straight after that was a $8 FT bubble when a reg rejams his BB with A4 into my QQ and obv doesn't miss seven Aces.

After that was a $35 4th when a reg calls my bvb shove with KJs for 15bbs, it was -ev vs me, quite considerably so but tools like him prob can't even fold 22 there.

Straight after that was a $35 3rd as I lose BVB calling a shove with A2s v K6o.

So most of those decent finishes were $35's which obv makes the pain worse and could have easily been a massive month already had I won those crucial flips.

See, even when I run good I run fucking bad. One day.... JUST ONE OF THESE CUNTING DAYS!!!! I'll catch a break.

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

more live

Decided on going back down for easter monday action as well. To sum up, quite simply.... OUT OF THIS WORLD!! In terms of both how horrendous EVERYONE is, and how unlucky I CONSTANTLY am!! Aswell as day 2 of the big tourney obv running, they had a side for £50 with a £3k gurantee, 10k chips, 25 min levels. I'm on a table of the two nut worst players on this planet just no question about it. They're 10x raising like 6 limpers with 54o etc. In fact, I was in that exact hand. Everyone limps and btn like 10x's, I have 99 in the SB and flat. Flop is 554, I c/c him everyone else folds. I decide I don't care what turn and river is I'm just c/cing. I've seen this guy bet and raise post flop with total air all the time. Turn is a King and he actually checks back. Suspiciuos then really, he would bet with nothing at all. River is an Ace, surfuknprise and I c/c a bet that really isn't that big. He doesn't have a King, or an Ace, he has cunting 54!!!!!!

I bust at bb150 with this: Whale no.1 who's doing his utmost to donk off his stack as fast as humanly possible, I mean this kid is a SERIOUS degen, actually OPEN JAMS 3k in LP LMAO!!! Even funnier is that whale no.2 (54 guy) FLATS LOLLLL. I have AKo, my 10k is going in there. 54 guy then tanks gettting a trillion to one and eventually calls QTo. Aswell as the 54 hand he has also binked about 3 flushes, 4 sets and 190 royals in like 10 hands so he's never ever ever ever losing this. Sure enough what's the flop? QTx. My 10 to 1 Jack doesn't arrive and will in fact around 1 in 575 occasions contrary to this math thing that some lying cunt made up once upon a time. Bit like the bible. MATH IS LIE.

Anyway, so I'm off to the cash table, £1-£1. This is even worse, just cannot describe how bad, literally worse than play money on Stars. If you could just run to expectation I fail to see how you couldn't run at like 10000000000bb/100 at cash and like 100000% ROI at tournies in this place. If I lived in the town I'd be there 24/7!!!!

Anyway I'm just card the fuck dead for like the 1000th live lifetime hour of my life. It's just the same as when I played at the club. Sitting there watching every single player go on huge runs of cards whilst my average holding is 83o for decades at a time.
Eventually, the dumb prick who jammed the 86 at bb150 in the tourney is on my right and raises CO to £6. I have JJ in SB, I'm going to kill this little bastard! I make it £18 and he jams for £40 total, I obv snap. We don't turn over cards for cash showdowns til river is dealt. Flo is all unders then OH HELLO THE 90000% TO HIT EVERY TIME ACE WHY HOW FUNNY MEETING YOU HERE. Sure enough the prick turns over AJ. FMAFCL.

Then back to card dead again for like a fortnight. Then, the mate who's brought me down this time in the one car, busts his stack on the £1-£2 table, SO NOW I ACTULLAY GET CARDS R U FKN SERIOUS?!?!??!?! He wants to go home!!! So I get ATo raise from EP, nit woman flats BB, flop is AKJss, she fkn check raises me. I'm 10000% beat but I flat for the backdoor nut flush and obv a Q. Little do I realise how short she is tho and with only the same bet left ott I'm forced to call her all in. Had I noticed her stack I obv would've folded to the cr. Very next hand with matey waiting to go, I get AJs, raise again 4x, 35 callers. Flop is KJJ, I get it in vs one person he has fucking KJ. Just couldn't write this shit. Card dead for eons then when I pick up a hand the RNG screws me so damn hard. It's probably rigged there too. I ain't giving up until I've taken those bastards for a ton of money I know that much!!! Now £500/$800 down in 2 days there.

Monday, April 1, 2013

online shark, live whale

So I played this Easter Extravaganze at Genting, Southend last night. They reached their guarantee numbers no prob and more. 100+ players with a few re-entries. Pool ended up around £16k.

First off, the place was lush and on this particular night, prob the buesiest in long time I'd imagine, the totty was immense!! Stunners everywhere, obviously mostly with their bf's so gg us but wow the standard of woman was incredible. Obviously I'm not talking in the poker dept!

Back to the poker, well, I received bad luck of varying proportions. All in all it was a BAD LUCK night. The tables were 10max. I guess it had to be done to fit everyone in, but that was my first "wtf" moment. I started on a fkn great table and was moved after 5 fuckin minutes, down in to the basement where a load of lat reggers had to start new tables. Unreal, just cuz I happened to be the next BB at the precise moment. It wasa great table cuz there were at least 2 huge whales. The first one was so bad he actually asked the dealer whilst on the river in a hand which was higher a straight of full house LMAO! He was totes foreign, could barely speak english. The dealer told him and some fat reg screached out in complaint "YOU CANT ADVISE HIM IN THE HAND!!!!" to which the director agreed but in som many words pretty much said "ok stfu and get on with it". Hilarious thing was, the guy didn't even have a full house he had a set LOOOOOLLLLL. It was gross, something like AJ9Kx 3 hearts, had been huge raises and calls OTT 4 way and the 2 showdown hands at the end were 99 and AJ!!! And that was with big turn raising guy not even there at the end!!! So sick.

First hand I'd actually made a boat in the BB and won a few K chips to get off to a good start. Then like I say, booted to the basement and it was all downhill from there. All the guys down here are obviously regs with one or two big mouths. Very likeable characters so I was quite entertained. The biggest mouth I reckon must be quite known in the live community. He's tall, built, blonde, squareish jawed but once he opens his mouth it's more camp than butch! He's constantly ribbing the set up, having a laugh with the dealer about how the casino is run terribly in his eyes.

So I'm obv card dead, absolutely nothing I can do anything with, and when I do get something marginal like QJo, there's too much action before me. Then at bb300 with around 100bbs I get AA UTG. I min and very next position 3bets to 1500. Folded back to me I make it 4k. He tanks for ages turns to study me, I have my face stuffed down into my tracksuit top collar hehe. I shift around a bit trying to look uncomfortable and he just flats. Flop is AKx which I'm obv totally possed with, he just got saved :( So I try a pathetic inducer of just 2k and he fold QQ face up. Jeez u can't fold that for like 22% of pot!!! If only it had been AQx ffs!

Next big hand is a fkn disaster. I get KK in the BB and mouth guy opens in EP to 600. I make it 1500, should've made it bigger it seemed he didn't give a shit about odds or anything and had ton of chips. He flats, flop is obviously Ace high that ruins my life. So I go into c/c mode. He barrels and jams river. It's an overbet to my remaining stack by a considerable amount. Now if I use logic here, the board was something like A4T96r. I tanked my river check for quite some time as if I'm wondering should I now lead my Ace, so if he has an Ace he's bound to check back. Even if it's AK. imo shoving river rules out an Ace... so therefore I'm winning barring him having Aces-up or some sick set. But this was NOT my thought process in the hand. My thought process in the hand with all eyes on me including the dealer went something like "gtirjtgprbgvsjtbosmetvpisrunjbsopijbnsdpvdmpsbnrbypjrnyphbnybpnpgknsmpetgvowenmgpjunwrybiunrtpbgaekotasm[pvakntbpwrjobgnwr?????"
And I fold. He shows me fucking 33!!!!!!!!!!!

I would've been on around 60k had I called at bb300. I go card dead again and it's an absolute age until we break up, everyone moaning they want table to break to go back upstairs. Eventually it does and I insta get hands on the next table. Well, THREE in actual fact lol. In a row when I sit down, I raise all 3 and the table with an average age of about 90 are all gasping and muttering LOL. stfu and gi me your blinds mofos! Soon went dead again there then this hand occurs. UTG mins to 1200, MP calls and I'm otb with QJs. I only have around 23bbs though. Meh don't wana fold, can't shove as I haven't played long enough to know their ranges. UTG had played a few hands but had all been flats pre. Thinking back it probably was a sweet spot to shove really. Even nits are gonna have so much UTG they're gonna fold with. I elect to flat as it's multiway and flop coms J9x. OR checks so he obv doesn't have J+, but MP donks 1200. ffs what to do here. min raise? jam? Jam seems risky with OR still actually in the hand, could be c/ring a monster or smth. I obv flat, OR folds. Turn is an offsuit King and donka insta checks but quickly calls my 2200...and then SNAP donks half my remaining stack on a fucking Ace river!!!! Once again my thought process went "gfpeltgjtpgsjnmtgjrnpgjrhgrrj WTF IS THIS SHIT??!?!?!?" Thought process SHOULD have gone. hmm how can he have QT here (xJ9KA), if he's gonna donk his oesd flop then surely he's gonna barrel when it hits, I think most would, no? But then there's prob a million 2 pairs he's gonna do this with. I don't think he realised I only had the same bet left behind so I think HE thinks he's putting out a weird blocker with shit hand, not realising he's actually just committed me. He COULD have checked KJ ott but surely he's have gone for the check raise if so? With it being a bit drawy. Most likely 2pr would be AJ, he c/c's turn now scared of the King but allowing me to rep it and bluff catch with his 2nd pair, then makes 2pr river. Put it this way, I think there were defo more hands beating me than the fucking KK v 33 hand. Again I fold and he shows me fucking 9To!!!! ER WHAT??!!??!!

Now I'm left with like 12bigs or some shit and ironically I'm soon moved back to my original seat where all the original players still are. That got a small laugh!! So so so soooooooooo wish I'd stayed there in that seat all night. Was by far the best in the house in terms of tucked away in the corner with the best view of all the passing hotties etc. With the bonus of terrible fish and a really nice brand new felt too. So I start shoving 10-11bbs, I shoved AQs got no action. Get up to about 15bbs at bb1200 and just min UTG with AQo. Very next position a guy who keeps asking my stack every fuckin time I shove asks how much I got bhind AGAIN. I said bout 12k after I'd raised and he makes it 8k. I mean, absolutely anyone has to be doing this with TT,JJ here so really I should've just got it in there and hoped for a flip, especially as I didn't wanna be coming back on Day 2 with a mere 10bbs, woudln't be worth the petrol! But instinct told me I'm crushed so I fold. He said "damn I thoguht u were commmitted there" so I said he obviously had a monster then, to which he went quiet. Told him I had AQ anyway, he probably had fucking AK knowing my luck.

Really weird thing straight after that, it's raised and called multiway on my BB now I'm on like 9bbs or w/e, and I fold J5 of clubs. Flop comes a club draw and the guy to my left once again speaks to me, "bet u wish u'd called now don't ya?" I'm liuke wtf???? I 100% didn't expose my cards when i folded, does he have xray vision?!?!?!?! How weird man, really weird. I did NOT expose them, fact!!

Eventually I jam the btn with 8bbs and 86s, a jam that nearly 100% of MTT regs online are gona make, but not one I'd usually do because I'm just not stupid. But I was jamming extra wide for the whole reason of not wanting to travel for Day 2 on a crap stack. obv BB has QQ, gg.

Oh one other thing that tilted me somewhat, was their chip colour coding. Was the nut opposite to every other fkn colour codes out there!! Greens were 500 when they're usually 25, 100s were red which are nearly always black anywhere else, blacks were 5k LOL. Fried my brain quite alot trying to add stuff up and throwing in the wrong chips all the time.

Neither of my 2 mates did any good either, well actually the luckiest one of the two did get up to like 60k but he plays wayyyyyyyy too many pots and said he donked it all off. Cash game was hilarious though! I should've got in but was just too knackered, tilted, pissed off, everything. The most degen gamblers of the tourney all leg it to the £1-£1 table on the break and are literally shoving 100-200bbs on 5-way flops if they hit a single card. fkn crazy, you would make a mint simply stalking the cash tables for when these breaks arrive.

Well it was a learning experience that's fo sho, learning that these fuckers are gonna bluff u first hand and not wait to see how you actually play first. Maybe I just look like some cunt who can be easily bluffed, must look like a nit, I duno. I just know that next time I play there and look people up light I'm gonna be shown the nuts!