It's every day, it's just every single single single day. It's every fucking day

Even before I begin to type I almost just stop and don't bother, but it MUST be documented; this impossible impossible non stop 58 decades of hell hell helllllllllllllllll!!!!!

Don't even know where to begin. 324598345309484540945182412094581340923841234478809 final table shoves in a row have a minimum of AA,KK,QQ,JJ,TT waiting, yes' that's all of the hands, 6 way every shove. Utterly unfathomable literally impossible lying bullshit. AND YOU BELIEVE THIS IS REAL??? HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHA CUCKOOOOOOOOOOO FUCKERS HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA.

So I already explained a few posts ago about the WPN promo, new types of SnG's blah cetera. It was to run for 4 weeks but after 3 weeks they announced happy hours are to be no more. The same games will carry on for another two weeks after the first 4, but the last 3 weeks of the 6 total will be happy hourless.

Well at the end of the 2nd week I'd reached a new peak, and was able to withdraw some profit. Then as per the usual ONE HUNDRED % RECORD, not even an exaggeration, literally 100% WEEKLY record after any given week's rake leaderboard winnings are transferred into the account, INSTANLTY we go on a $1000 MINIMUM smasher!! It's literally 100% since the day I joined the site. Actually impossible. That's like 52 roulette reds in a row. We're generally 48% equity across all AIPF's, most SnG winners can't win more than 50% days and that's about correct, therefore I am around 50% at any given point in time to win, lose or draw, and yet it is ONE HUNDRED PERCENT of the time this fucking bullshit takes place. Utterly phenomenal.

Immediately after that last peak, after withdrawing, I even left the roll to be $2k, as opposed to the usual $1.5k. The whole time it's been $1.5k, I've not had a single reload. Now I leave it at $2k and I instantly needed two reloads in one fucking day HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!

Despite hitting a peak, I was at that point whilst nearly 3 grand down in $100's, playing a few to begin with, then sporadically playing no more than 3-4 at a time, then went on a 60 cashless streak $3k ball shatterer in the $50's alone. The opponents are no different, the games are certainly no harder whatsoever, just the controllers doing their shit as usual.

Here's my graph for the past week.

And that doesn't even cover the impossible amount of coolers, as obviously coolers don't create a bad ev line as such. Simply not a single bvb goes not set up, You think Ax is a standard jam in so many places, let's do it, hugely +ev. Ah but AX is waiting 999999999%, every single hand, every single day, every single week, just total action packed deliberately created PNG bullcrap. Stuff happening 100x a day that happened once a week on FTP or pre 2014 Stars. Total factoid just nothing to even debate it. Beyond the beyond.

I'm unquestionably the most frequent shover into AA in any critical ITM or ICM situation, by a billion miles I'd bet my saggy bollocks on it in a heartbeat, were there some measurement tool possible to compare everyone. Not a shaoow about it. Gobsmackingly impossible.

And might I add, my actual results are decent compared to the stable of MTT players who have collectively lost about 95 billion dollars over the course of the promo. They must be byond bad, well I know they are, their ICM is horrendous, nearly all of them. After the rake winnings they'll still be massively skint!!

I drafted this and didn't complete yesterday, today come back to complete after smahing every siungle FT shove into AA all night long. Utterly impossible LITERALLY IMPOSSIBLE. Who's gonna get this fucking shit investigated on a gigantic level and regulated? No cunt that's who.